Your New Name

I changed your contact name three times,

Then hid the phone under a cushion

like it could smother the truth.

﹁﹂

In the grocery store I saw you

not you, exactly

your shoulders, your old laugh,

the way you lean into light.

﹁﹂

Someone said your new name

like it was a simple thing,

like opening a jar.

My throat did that small rebellion

It does when I’m trying to be brave.

﹁﹂

At home, I practiced in the steam

over a pot of rice,

watching my reflection wobble

in the stainless lid.

﹁﹂

It came out wrong at first

too sharp, too shy, too… mine.

I hated that last part.

﹁﹂

Your new name tastes like fresh paint,

like a room I don’t own anymore,

Like sweetness I can’t swallow fast.

﹁﹂

Still, I wrote it on a sticky note

and didn’t crumple it.

Some nights I touch the paper

just to prove my hands are steady-ish.