Your Brown Eyes...

Found an old photo, wow we were young,

Back-to-back we stand, ignorant bliss from what will become.

Handsome and sweet as a boy could be,

Charming as hell, I know all would agree!

I see you in my own brown eyes,

Your reflection mirrors back in the tears that I cry.

Your smirk, that smile, the youth in your face,

Forever young and resting because of a pill - Fetynol lace.

In family pictures, I can see your shift,

Where mental illness robs you, your soul went adrift.

The sadness, the pain, mirage boastance,

Unknown Subliminal attacks causing self induce penance.

I wish I could freeze this moment, go back in time,

Stop life's clock from ticking, shatter the chime!

Our time together then seems so far away,

My time now without you is heart-wrenching each day!

I wish I knew then what to me you meant,

You were the big brother I hated, the source of my torment.

I wonder if I had shown you more love,

If you would still be here with me, not looking down from above?

I think back to our entire course,

Where did I slip up, your pain - could I have prevented the source?

I tried so hard but it was not enough,

I fought you too hard, I was too tough!

I didn't listen, I should have been gentle,

I didn't mean to be harsh or come off judgemental!

I probably made things so much worse,

I should have embraced my gift earlier, maybe could have lifted your curse!

Too little too late, so much regret,

Your death will not be in vain - I got you - bet!