You'll Be Born Soon, Baby Boy.

Slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly,

I feel pulling and tugging,

But I am unaware of what is going on,

Feeling dizzy,

Dizzy,

Dizzier,

My eyes close,

Everything is dark,

Yet I can still hear the surgeon,

I can still feel my partner holding my hand,

And then nothing,

I can still feel,

Not the physical pulling and tugging,

But floating,

My entire body,

Floppy;

I see images of a golden gate,

Whilst my eyes are still shut,

I'm waiting at that gate,

I am aware that I am there,

Though I am still on the operating table,

A lady with strawberry Irish curls visits,

I recognise her as my gran, from my dad's side,

"Go back. You're not done yet. They need you! "

She cries;

I can feel my eyes opening,

Slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly,

I am awake, but I am still sleepy,

"We need to get her on a drip and get her into recovery fast!"

The words I heard before my eyes shut again;

When I awoke,

I was in a solo recovery room,

On a drip,

With a space blanket over me,

Then they handed me a beautiful baby boy,

You;

"Elliott,"

I told my husband as I drifted in and out of consciousness

"She's lost a lot of blood"

"We need to get her blood pressure up, and fast!"

I asked,

"Did I pass away?"

Everything fell silent,

"Am I dead?"

I asked my husband,

My eyes, pooling with tears,

And my heart pounding out of my chest;

We were taken to the ward,

Slowly,

slowly,

slowly,

Everything goes dark, just for a minute,

Drifting in and out of consciousness,

The next two days were a blur;

I forgot that you were born,

I thought I was still at home,

My drip was being topped up every ten minutes,

I kept drifting in and out of consciousness,

Seeing ghosts of my gran and grandad from the past,

Seeing distorted images of people laughing at me,

Seeing people die who weren't dying,

Then it was finally over,

And I whispered,

"I love you, baby Elliott,"

I was finally allowed home,

Sixteen years later, I still have nightmares from that event,

I relive it as though it is still happening,

Then I smile and I say,

"It doesn't matter, we survived, baby boy, we survived."