you

You

Its strange, the word you

When you say you

I think, who?

As all versions of me scatter around in my being

Who are you seeing?

Every you

A new

Perspectives unlocked

Overflowing from this 'you' teapot

Your you different from their you,

His you transformed from her you

The scary thing is

does that means I don’t know my original you

How can so many reside in me?

I don’t know if I prefer that

Or consistency

would it make me boring?

one you

but their is always a core

the peeling back

the transcending above

isn't that the journey we're on?

we can recreate and redefine ourselves

new layers till we get to the core

and what we'd find eventually that the journey to the core was buried in everything we had to lose to get there

and a question to ponder on would be if we already knew each layer of our existence before we flowed into it,

knowing of each raindrops arrivial before it set sail into our sea

each part discovered wasn't really a discovery to the soul

those are the contracts people speak of, fascinating.

as none of this would matter if we remembered,

this journey can be so suffocating but at least thats how we really know we're alive

from something so breathtaking we find ourselves gasping for more of it

it wouldn't matter if life was only on a high all the time, the lows allow the balance of the all

we must know both to experience the all

and in the end what we'd find eventually was that the journey to the core was buried in everything we had to lose to find it

deaths met before deaths met

it all mattered and yet in the end none of it matters

so, one me, one you

would it make me empty or would it make me full?

how should I know the first you from the rest

i've figured out

to bathe in the original you

That is to be alone

That is the first you from the rest

The rest play and bounce around invading energies

rare energies

who have access to explore around my aura

most are off limits to my deep end

they paddle around my shallow end,

most are off limits

until they’re not

but that’ll take some time

most will never meet underneath the layer of perception

i struggle to thin my veil

but do i really have too?

and yet i find it a weakness to not be able to always express myself comfortably

but whatever this is, whichever layer i'm at, i will always collect its lessons and bare my fruits, she's only recently been uncovered, lets see what she becomes

but it's funny because people can only perceive you from their own realities

so what does the social anxiety matter,

what does it really matter who i'm trying to show people and who goes in to hide

but i acknowledge that all the fixtures are within me, and thats really the only journey that matters

we must remember though, nothing needs fixing within

everything in our experiences is apart of the perfection that is consciousness

at my core,

there is so much love and depth

so much fun and smiles

so much silliness and playfulness

so many words of wisdom

so much passion for life

the easiest way for people to peep behind her curtains, is too either be patient with her or too tap into her forms of expression

she loves to write, she's always been magnificent at writing, to the point that she though that's the only thing she's good at, she does still think that

from young, school installed in her that nothing makes you special unless you excel at everything they force fed us

I have a memory of my child self crying at her 'weaknesses' that she was compelled to do in a way that didn't resonate with her wonderful mind, and so ignoring everything she's amazing at, she is amazing at making people smile and laugh, she is amazing at making people feel at peace, she is amazing at storytelling and expressing herself through her emotions and creativity. She is truly amazing.

wondrous silence leaks out from her so that you may feel safe in her embrace

you just need to give her some time and for the love of god when she needs it

her space

but rest assured she knows which energies fascinate her

something people have felt about this being is her fascination with the experience of life, every part of it, she will make you pause and notice this beautiful world, the captures of life that don’t get always get the appreciation it deserves

her guard will guard if felt needed to guard

but if she shows you a peak of her its your call to journey onwards

most have tried to get close and felt they were being swallowed by a true reflection, of this intensity of life she so effortlessly radiates,

something she never realised she did, she unlocked 'tower moments' in others and most were not ready for the rabbit hole to their own soul.

i'm so proud of her for this inner power because all she wants to do is help others, but it does often leave her quite lonely

so thank you for the ones who stuck around her energy and ventured further into her garden

because others can't even imagine the extent that she drowns frequently

yet she has a habit to dull this drowning by thinking of what others may be going through instead of herself, she probably won't ever stop doing that even though she knows its pointless to her own experience

but if others just gave her a chance, they'd find the warmth beyond it

beyond her

they can only see and use the surface level of warmth that naturally floods out

because she has a lot of depth in her old soul

unfold slowly, too fast it surely won't last

the magnificence about this being,

she knows her journey is hers alone to walk

and she so will shower you in all the love she can give for your own

she's trying so hard for others

only to find out that she was meant to be giving herself back way more

a lot of her has been lost, damaged, stepped on, walked over, taken, owned, forgotten, unseen and unheard of for a long time

whilst having to stay a float, in a boat that understandably broke

now she drifts

and feels much better on the water of her own tears

she may now learn to surround and surrender in her love

this next you, feels powerful and free, she's making her way,

and what will be will be.