You Know

You left abruptly when the summer ended

No time for closure

No time for goodbyes

I stood there

Every sunset, every splash of the waves

I stood there

Remembering your touch,

Your scent,

I used to melt into you completely

Forgetting where I was, what day it was

The time would stop with your embrace

The world would cease to exist.

And there I was alone so unexpected

Wandering the streets at night

I waited.

The fall came on so gently,

But you were too far gone

With every thought I shared with you,

I’d fool myself you’re still here,

Holding on to the warmth that once had been

Erasing all of my fears

I thought you would come back

So we could live the summer again

And you would take me to your castle

Where the mountains met lakes

And I could be your perfect mermaid

Do you remember?

The love was everywhere,

Overwhelming, all-consuming

Burning so bright, so fast

I could see it on my fingertips

You remember. You were there.

I waited.

One day the sharp, gut wrenching pain paralyzed my body

I was falling.

Falling fast into the darkness knowing

Nobody would catch me.

I was falling when the fireworks were bursting in my brain,

Ready to explode it

In a thousand beautiful pieces

Everywhere.

Maybe then we find each other

My thousand pieces scattered in chaos

Will reach you when

You explode in a thousand pieces

As your demons tear you apart

As your pain consumes you

You explode

And

Maybe then your atoms find my atoms

Across the distance

Across the time and space,

We like two magnets reach each other

Through all the pain, all the sorrow,

We found us

We met in colors.

Was I dreaming?

Was it ever real?

The fireworks tore the skies apart

The sparks were landing in the waters

The ocean was endless and dark

You held me

In the bursts of light I found myself

Erupting as well

There is beauty in pain.

That very moment I knew

If we stayed

We’d burn to ashes

And I would be no more.

It had to stop.

We had to stop.

We had to pop the bubble before

It’d suffocate us both,

I tried to share my light with you

I had enough for both of us you know

It was too bright for you

You made me dim

I would rise up

You tried to break me

You told me once

You loved breaking

Beautiful things

I thought that was poetic

The pain behind it made me feel seen

Until you didn’t see me anymore

You tried to break me

But I stood.

I loved you

You loved my pain.

I had to set it all on fire

To set me free.

A part of you has never burnt completely,

It stayed with me

You know. You were there.