you are worth more than a waistline

I've been thinking a lot lately about body image and what it means to have a positive outlook. There's the media, who tell you that skinny is beautiful, and that having smooth, firm skin, a juicy ass and a flat stomach is the way you need to look to be considered good looking. THAT IS SO BACKWARDS, FRIENDS. The last time that I can recall having a flat stomach was when everything else on my body was also flat when I was about 12 years old.

It's definitely been a journey, and it's an active choice each day to wake up and love myself. This pandemic has been so hard on the mind, and it's only taken about 14 months, but my body is finally getting used to it. I've learned that getting up and going for a walk puts me in a good headspace for the day, i've found work out videos and routines that I actually enjoy, but most of all, I've come to realize that those are things that I'm doing to keep myself happy and feeling strong, and not to fit in to the societal expectations of "hot girl summer." Like a good friend of mine once told me, WEAR THE DAMN SKIRT. If you feel good and happy and confident in it, that's all that really matters. Society has taught you that if you have cellulite or stretch marks or acne, that those things make you lesser than. Sure, i'm not gonna sit here and tell you that those things are beautiful, even i'm not at the point where I believe that yet, but they do make you human and they certainly don't make you any less wonderful.

I'm not pretty

not in the way you want to be

my nose is too big, hair too thin

eyes chestnuts that burn over the open fire

I don't have pearls in my mouth

my stomach is not a tundra

but

my smile radiates comfort

my heart knocks on every door it finds

leaving pennies on the ground

waiting for someone to pick up a bit of luck

passion erupts from me

a warm hug of lava

rushing towards whatever is near

listen for the sound of laughter

melodic and contagious

if you can accept that i'm not really pretty

maybe you'll see that i'm beautiful.