Xanthism

Yellow and I have

an interesting relationship.

I never liked the way it looked on my skin

malnourished of joy

and frail from the rain

Despite its warming pallet, it bathed my face

in shadow.

But I grew to love its warmth

when it bathed my shoulders

in sunlight.

In 2019 I was afraid of yellow roses.

I'd acknowledge their beauty with a churning

stomach

Grace them with a smile while I bit my

cheek

Because of a Man with petal lips and hands of thorn

I've only begun to face my fears and forgive the flowers

for it was not their flesh

that branded me.

The Yellow Wallpaper drove the woman mad!

I, too, am mesmerized by the Aspens' tunnels

with painted leaves and carvings of gold

Ever year

without fail

until they lay to rest.

Perhaps this is what the Painter felt

when he made the Sunflowers.

Flooded with foxglove and a crooked crown

or perhaps a broken heart

he found beauty in his sickness.

and through manic compulsion

created a masterpiece.

Placid tones and warming sun

Fear and Forgiveness

Madness and Mesmer

I, too, see the Sunflowers.