Why am I drowning?
I suffer,
looking for a hand to grant me air—
but constantly denied without reason.
Do I deserve to slowly sink,
even if I try my hardest
to rescue myself?
I remember jumping in
whenever I heard the word help,
but now I’m ignored
when the positions are reversed.
Can the spirit drown?
Or does it lift the soul to paradise,
even after drowning to death?
Am I worth jumping in for,
or am I too heavy to stop sinking?
The struggle is gorgeous.
I can only see the best parts of my life
while enduring the worst.
If I could,
I would yell:
Don’t jump in.
I enjoy the time alone—
to suffer in peace.
“Fight for me”
is something you won’t hear
from lips that drown by choice.
Watch while I sink
and disappear
from a world I never fit in.
Don’t look away—
you offered no assistance
to my death.
Enjoy it.
It only happens once.
And then,
tomorrow will never come for me.
So let me sink—
because I deserve to.
Don’t jump in.
Saving me
would only make drowning
more tempting.
Sadly, like most,
I never thought to
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About the Creator
Marcus Hill
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Comments (1)
This is heavy. I think we are capable of saving ourselves, although I have jumped in to help so many in life, only to find myself drowning with them. Swim to the top, take some air and float through the gunk of life. Incredibly well expressed sorrow.