Wishes

As a child i was always taught that if you caught a dandelion seed mid-flight and blew it back into the the air, the gentle breeze would grant whatever wish you had attached to it.

With this in mind ever since i was told such a beautiful thing could happen, i would always do as instructed. The moment the delicate seed would come close i would strive to grasp it with both hands. i'd whisper my wish as though it was listening and i begged that as i blew it away back into nature that my wish would be granted by Mother and all the other wonderful mysteries that the land holds.

Today was the first ever time i rejected that seed. It blew toward me gracefully and i simply swatted it away from my face.

i'm undecided on why.

Maybe it could be that all my wishes had once come true and they were snatched away from me in one moment on one drunken kiss. Or perhaps that it was simple that wishes don't come true. And when they feel like they have, it's all a disgusting lie to play tricks with your head and fuck with your heart.

i don't know.

But today i felt pain. As most days.

Coming close to death took me to a place where i have realised that nothing is ever how it seems. And even the people you never thought could, can and will betray you.

It is an ugly world.

One that i often wish i was not a part of.

Now more than ever.