Winter Break Heartache

It took a fraction of a movie for you to shatter me

Cross my lines and blur my eyes,

You tried to take what wasn't yours.

I still remember the way my heart pounded,

The fear that clawed it's way up my throat.

I sat there with you,

Hands held,

The idea of what I thought love was-

You waited, at least I'd hoped you would

I still can't watch that movie without reliving what you did

What you tried to do-

You said you loved me-

Fed me words I was desperate for

You laid in waiting,

Like a tiger ready to pounce

When I let you in and tried to lay siege

You didn't think I'd fight back

But I remember what it was like

When you kissed my neck-

I was 16

You smoothed your hands over my legs

Applying pressure like I was clay

I was 16-

A girl still,

Too scared to live

You forced yourself into my peace

Disrupted the light I held you in-

You broke my heart,

And the movie ended-

I never thought I'd run from you like that

Tears burning my eyes

Hands burning hot

I had never felt so betrayed

You tried to take me away

It took a fraction of movie for you to shatter me

Cross my lines and blur my eyes,

I cried and cried

Screamed for you to-

GET OUT

You whispered apologies- like that would make it ok

You shattered me and I had to pretend I was ok

I stayed quiet for 3 days-

Before I met you in the open

a buffer to keep me safe

I looked at you with tears in my eyes-

There are battles a 16-year-old shouldn't fight-

I whimpered-

It's over- I can't trust you again.

You tried to plead, desperate for me to hold on-

But that's how this all started,

The love I was willing to give you wasn't enough for you-

You forced my hand in more ways than one-

So I kicked out from under you,

landing blows where the sun doesn't shine-

I told you-

I'm done, what I was giving wasn't enough.

I cried my whole way home-

Scared they'd hate me-

and a block from the front door I knew

The questions were there

She'd ask me why I was red,

Why my eyes stung and my shoulders shook-

I tried to temper my sobs,

But when she looked at me I knew-

He broke my heart- Tried to take what wasn't his.

I thought he loved me-

I thought he was perfect-

and so did she-

She whispered soothing words and told me she was-

Proud.

Proud I held onto my belief that I wasn't ready

But it just felt like she wasn't saying-

I'm proud he broke your heart.

We decided I wouldn't say anything more-

and like that it was dealt with,

You shattered my heart

Crossed my lines

It took a fraction of movie for you to shatter me

I'll never know how that movie ends-

But I'll always remember the way you lied to me-

How my heart felt like it could burst,

The stinging on my eyes

The rawness in my throat-

But I was fine...