Why to CRY

Why do I cry in the sight of someone swimming in the ocean, playing the role of a mermaid?

Why do I cry when I see someone perform, singing their heart out?

Why do I cry when someone speaks a monologue so strong it brings chills to the hairs on my arms?

Is it out of jealousy, do I want to be them?

Is it I am proud, seeing them accomplish their passions?

Is it out of happiness, knowing it can be done?

Or am I sad, because I can’t bring myself to chose one thing to enjoy?

I ask all these questions. Nit picking every visual, every feeling, ever word spoken.

Draining, not myself from the tears, but from the exhaustion of admiration.

I don’t desire the fame

But I desire the energy they feed the ones watching.

I want to fell that experience from within, and inspire others just the same.

I know questioning helps my brain at ease,

But I wish to no longer question

And just do.

Why is it so hard to just do?

And there I go again…

Focusing on all this growth, feeling like it’s the right thing to do,

Using what little strength I have to write.

It’s easier than using words out loud,

That can’t last forever

No longer an excuse

Or. mystery.

Why do I like mistakes?

In typing I find beauty in errors, leaving them because it shows me something I would not have seen before.

Believing so much in the subconscious I forget that consequences are just as capable to be living with us as we speak, write, eat, and move our feet.

Leaving with a response not closed because I draw each entrance, but I’m afraid of every exit.