why i fell out of love with myself.
when i didn't even know love.

Once, I danced with shadows on my bedroom wall,
A child in love with her own laughter,
Spinning tales of forever-afters.
Oh, how I adored that bright-eyed girl!
But time, that fickle friend, played its part,
A turning point, sharp as broken glass:
There was a lass from yesterday,
Who thought she'd always find her way,
But life's cruel jest
Put her to the test,
And now she's lost in disarray.
Self-doubt crept in, uninvited.
Mirror, mirror, tell me why
My reflection looks so blighted?
Years passed, a blur of faces,
Smiles that never reached my core.
Chasing shadows, running races,
Always keeping score.
Recently, I caught a glimpse
Of who I used to be.
A flash of joy, so crisp,
Then gone—lost at sea.
Anger bubbles, a volcano within,
How dare I lose myself so completely?
This shell, this skin,
A stranger, defeat me?
I watch her fade, this stranger in the mirror,
Eyes dulled by disappointment's heavy hand.
Where did she go, that girl I used to know?
Guilt gnaws at memories once so dear.
"You'll never be good enough," they said.
And slowly, I began to believe.
How do you fall back in love
With a person you've learned to hate?
I grit my teeth, a volcano of regret rushes,
For every "yes" when I should've said "no,"
For dreams I buried, seeds unsown.
I've become the ghost I used to fear.
I’m before this silvered glass,
A bloodbath of what was and what could be.
The reflection sneers, "Who are you to me?"
And I, once lover, now enemy, have no reply.
How do you find your way back from such a fall?
This is why I fell out of love with myself, after all.
About the Creator
remi
I write of broken things—family, minds, and the silence between. My poems bleed emotion, my stories twist the psyche. If you seek the quiet horrors, the unspoken grief, you'll find it here.



Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.