TRIGGER WARNING: self harm and suicidal ideation
I want to feel again.
Life feels surreal and I'm empty again.
I look at my arms,
They're covered in scars.
My thighs,
They're red.
The blood,
Dripping as I feel almost dead.
I know,
My suffering won't end soon.
They say,
"Keep your head up."
And,
"You aren't trying hard enough."
And also,
"It's just for attention."
And most painfully,
"If you cared, you'd be fine by now."
So, who cares,
If I don't make it through this time?
Who cares,
When I'm struggling this deeply?
Who cares,
If I end it all?
Who cares,
About it at all?
About the Creator
Rene Peters
I write what I know, usually in the form of poetry. I tend to lean towards mental health, epilepsy, and loss/grieving.
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'20/20'
"Do It Again" the track that would ultimately open the Beach Boys final album on Capitol Records which was released on February 10th 1969 had originally been released as a single in August of 1968. The track was the first of many post-Pet Sounds era throwbacks to the early Beach Boys sound which would become continually more cliched and eventually lead the Beach Boys to the level of self-parody they would eventually succumb to in the 1980s while their closest contemporaries The Beatles nearing the end of their run in 1969 would go on to be viewed as the most influential band of all time. However, the song itself is not bad on its surface, and it opens with a futuristic sounding (for 1969) drumbeat captured by then-Beach Boys engineer Stephen Desper using tape delays on the drums performed by Dennis Wilson and John Guerin. The song has been re-recorded numerous times over the years on various Beach Boys-related projects most notably the 2011 re-recording at Capitol studios featuring the five surviving Beach Boys at the time backed instrumentally by various members of both the Brian Wilson Band and Mike Loves touring "Beach Boys" to promote the then upcoming Beach Boys 50th Anniversary reunion tour in 2012. The hammering and power drill sound at the end of the song was an excerpt from a track called "Workshop" that was to be a part of the uncompleted "SMiLE" album.
By Sean Callaghan7 days ago in Beat
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