Who Am I Anyway

I’ve heard people say it, though it never quite applied,

when you lose someone you love,

you get lost.

The struggle to exist with a part of you that’s gone

feels like something deep inside of you has died

I keep playing back the scenes from when you were last here

Can’t imagine how much I have changed

So I put on a mask to hide it all away

don’t deal with it, I’ve learned to rearrange

I feel broken

I feel numb

So torn open

It’s so dumb

I wonder as I look about,

what everybody else does.

Are they going through the motions, just like me?

Or have they found the hidden secret

to escape and break away,

accepting this is how it’s always gonna be?

I hear me softly say it, now it’s screaming in my head

Oh my god, I just want her back again!

That girl who took it on and conquered

She never thought to quit,

never gave a second thought of cost or consequence

Everyday she stood there boldly fiercely, face to face,

She got up, with shear power in her hands.

She took on every struggle, with no fear in her eyes

Sticking to her purpose and her plan

I feel broken

I feel numb

So torn open

It’s so dumb

She’s helpless now, an empty shell

frozen, consumed completely by my darkness,

Her failure, doubt and fear exposed

a feast for each one of my demons,

With no reprieve, no light or hope no one is coming now to save her

There is no escaping or denying,

She was me, and I my friend am her