where did love go?

I just want to tell you that I love you again.

Not in a great tremendous way.

Not in a small meaningless way either.

In an "I can't believe I am able to exist without you" kind of way.

I want to tell you how proud I am of you.

But no words can exist.

We share all those painful memories between us.

There was more than just one mistake.

More than a few to be honest.

You watched me leave.

Walk right out that door and never turn back.

I watched you fall apart in a different kind of way.

Where is that boy that I had fallen in love with?

The one I used to watch lightning storms and cry with.

Where did that man that I loved all those years ago disappear to?

Because the one I am looking at right now, is no longer even recognizable by me.

A ghost compared to who I once knew.

Where did all our love for one another go?

That love turned into anger and unforgiving words.

It turned into hateful fights and endless sleepless nights.

We used to throw gasoline on an already lit fire.

The flames burned and consumed us until we were ripped apart.

But I ask myself again, where did all that love go?

Because I am looking around me, and I still see it everywhere.

Even if all that love is just now just hate-filled anger from all of our past mistakes.

I still just want to tell you that I love you.

Chloe Rose Violet