When You Were Still Here

I wake up every morning
With your name still in my head,
Like you were just beside me,
Not long ago—but dead.

Your cup sits on the table,
Still stained with morning tea.
I never moved a single thing
Since the day you left me.

Your coat still hangs in silence,
Your shoes sit by the door.
I stare at them for hours,
As if you'll walk in once more.

I talk to empty spaces
Where your laughter used to be,
And every room feels smaller now
Since you're no longer with me.

I whisper in the hallway,
I cry into my hands,
I write your name on windows
Just fogged up by my hands.

I found a note you left me,
Folded in your favorite book.
It said, “Don’t forget to smile,”
But I can’t bear to look.

I sleep with all the lights on,
Afraid of all the dreams,
Because sometimes I still hear you
Calling softly from the seams.

I thought time was a healer,
But it’s a liar in disguise.
It tells me you’ll feel closer—
Yet I forget your eyes.

People say, “Be strong now,”
And, “They’re in a better place.”
But no one sees the empty nights
Or the picture I still trace.

I replay our last phone call,
Your voice so calm and kind.
I didn’t know that call would be
The very final time.

“I’ll see you soon,” you told me,
And I believed it too.
But now I only see you
In skies that fade to blue.

Your chair beside the window
Still catches morning light,
But now it glows with silence—
Too quiet, too bright.

I keep your sweater folded
On my side of the bed.
When I wake up at 3 a.m.,
It holds the words unsaid.

I never told you everything—
How proud I was of you.
I always thought we had more time,
But time was never true.

I miss the way you’d worry
When I’d leave home too late.
Now I drive in tears and whispers
Hoping you guard the gate.

I still set out two dishes
Though I eat alone each night.
I still pause at the sunset
Waiting for your light.

Some days, I nearly text you,
Or laugh like you're nearby.
Then I remember halfway through—
And all I do is cry.

They say grief comes in waves,
But it feels more like a flood.
Some days I swim with memories,
Other days, I drown in blood.

But I will keep on writing you,
Even if you never write back.
Because the love I still carry
Is the one thing I don’t lack.

I light a candle every week
And place it by your frame.
I smile and say, “I miss you.”
Though it hurts to say your name.

I hope you see me breaking,
And maybe hold me while I sleep.
Maybe you still walk beside me
When the wind begins to weep.

I don’t know if I’ll ever
Learn to live without your voice,
But I do know this for certain:
I would still make the same choice—

To love you, lose you, miss you,
Again and all my days.
Because even broken-hearted,
You still light all my ways.

So if you can still hear me,
From wherever you may be,
Please know my heart still beats for you—
Even though you're free.

And when my time is over,
And the sky pulls down its shade,
I’ll run through stars to find you
And rest where we both fade.