When the Flowers Withered

I try to do everything right. I make plans

I organise my life

But things go wrong anyway

Like they always have

Without a warning, I’m back where I started

This game is exhausting. I need sleep

Magic in the mundane

I wish I could be grateful right now

But my head hurts and I’m nauseous

I feel defeated, but I barely did anything

This exhaustion runs deep

As if I were born tired

As if I could never be truly happy

There’s no other way

Except to love and laugh despite the ache

To live every day battling the monotony

Finding happiness anyway

I know it’s easier said than done

I know some days the weight is too much

Some days, the waves of sadness are too strong

But time does its trick. It heals

The darkness fades away eventually

I try to do everything right

Life surprises me

When sadness haunts you for years

It takes a humorous turn

My headache is getting worse

I roll the window down

It’s humid today. I feel worse

Breathe. You’re okay.

I wish to run and keep running

Not knowing where I’ll end up

Run until I’m out of breath

And lie down exhausted

In the middle of nowhere

I can’t make people my home

My home of self-love is empty today

No furniture, chipping paint

How do I make the most of this life?

I feel exhausted all the time

How do I love myself

When I see nothing but my flaws?

I bought flowers. They withered

I wrote poems. I lost the words

I close my eyes. My head hurts.

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