When I am a Cat

Dear God and Buddha.

I know it’s unconventional to talk to you both - especially at the same time.

But I had an idea you see, and a favor to ask.

And I think you both are just upper management I need to run it by.

You see, I have a request for when I die.

First, I would like to go to Heaven for a while.

I want to visit family and friends, and even give hugs to old pets.

I’d like to have a picnic with God, and tell him all about my adventures in life - and ask him if this particular Dungeons and Dragons game went as the GM meant.

And then, I would like to be granted a reincarnation.

And if it so pleases the court I’d like to be born again as a cat.

A black cat, oh or maybe a tabby.

Or perhaps even a pretty Siamese, if you please.

So long as my fur is the softest fur a human could possibly touch.

Maybe it can be medium or long in length too.

Then, I would like to be guided to a human who has anxiety or depression.

Or maybe a good hearted human whose just gone through a loss.

Or maybe to someone who needs to heal from abuse.

Man or woman it matters not.

Just give me someone who needs me, so my soft fur can be of use.

Help me grow to just the right size, so when I sit on their lap or chest I’m just the right weight.

Let my purr be strong so I can vibrate them to sleep at night with the continuous sound of love.

Let my toe-beans be just the right shape so they insight delight.

My nose be just pink enough and smooth enough for every day snoot boops.

I will spend my cat-life loving this train wreck of a human, helping them make it through their pain.

And in return for my comforting cat services, please let my human be good enough to keep my litter box clean, and feed me 12 times a day.

Thank you for your time, God and Buddha. I leave the details to you.

I hope my proposal finds you both well and in a giving mood.

Sincerely,

One of the many crazy cat ladies on earth.