When Did I Lose My Innocence As A Girl?

Trigger Warning from Author: The following poem briefly mentions sexual harrassment and assault. This poem is meant for mature audiences.

When did I lose my innocence as a girl?

I lost my innocence when my interests changed from Barbie’s to boys.

I lost my innocence when I cringed at the thought of shopping at Justice and Claire’s.

I lost my innocence when I couldn’t leave the house without eyeshadow or mascara.

I lost my innocence when I started playing softball. Apparently, if you play sports as a girl, you are too masculine. Boys don’t like girls with muscular legs and arms bigger than theirs.

I lost my innocence when I wore a bikini for the first time and hated what I saw in the mirror.

I lost my innocence when white nail polish was no longer a color but a secret code.

I lost my innocence on the fourth of July; it was a hot summer night. A group of men catcalled me for the first time. I was thirteen and just started feeling comfortable in jean shorts.

I lost my innocence when my body was no longer seen as a body but as an object.

I lost my innocence when I discovered that sexual comments from boys weren’t compliments; they make me vulnerable, and catcalling is sexual harassment, and coercion is assault.

I lost my innocence when I realized that I’d spent my entire life attempting to please others because perfection is an unreachable standard for women, but perfection is only an idea for men.

I lost my innocence as a girl when I began bleeding the blood from my womb; I am officially a woman.

- @quietvisualmind