When darkness falls and your sins you recall
the paralysis can leave you feeling captive
and it's hard to find joy in anything at all
*
You can fight it, hold it off and make it stall
Until you have nothing left really to give
when darkness falls and your sins you recall
*
The dead of the night, can make you feel small
When you can't see tomorrow, death's attractive
and it's hard to find joy in anything at all
*
The voices in your head celebrate your fall
The worthiness of your life feels subjective
when darkness falls and your sins you recall
*
Even when morning comes at the dawn chorus call
Your past mistakes can feel too hard to forgive
and it's hard to find joy in anything at all
*
You need to make a choice, to stand up tall
Face the day and decide you are going to live
When darkness falls and your sins you recall
and it's hard to find joy in anything at all
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: First attempt at a Villanelle ever. I am not the biggest fan of strict rules, as you probably know, when it comes to writing and poetry. Unless they are rules I have invented, haha! Anyway...this was trickier than I thought it might be.
Still not sure about it. But...it's not my last attempt at a Villanelle either.
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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'20/20'
"Do It Again" the track that would ultimately open the Beach Boys final album on Capitol Records which was released on February 10th 1969 had originally been released as a single in August of 1968. The track was the first of many post-Pet Sounds era throwbacks to the early Beach Boys sound which would become continually more cliched and eventually lead the Beach Boys to the level of self-parody they would eventually succumb to in the 1980s while their closest contemporaries The Beatles nearing the end of their run in 1969 would go on to be viewed as the most influential band of all time. However, the song itself is not bad on its surface, and it opens with a futuristic sounding (for 1969) drumbeat captured by then-Beach Boys engineer Stephen Desper using tape delays on the drums performed by Dennis Wilson and John Guerin. The song has been re-recorded numerous times over the years on various Beach Boys-related projects most notably the 2011 re-recording at Capitol studios featuring the five surviving Beach Boys at the time backed instrumentally by various members of both the Brian Wilson Band and Mike Loves touring "Beach Boys" to promote the then upcoming Beach Boys 50th Anniversary reunion tour in 2012. The hammering and power drill sound at the end of the song was an excerpt from a track called "Workshop" that was to be a part of the uncompleted "SMiLE" album.
By Sean Callaghan7 days ago in Beat
Comments (13)
Well done lad, classic irreverent anarchist hating structure
Dammit Paul, you've driven me to tears with this one. I can't even begin to tell you how hard this was to read. I'm not sure if I wish I hadn't or if I'm glad I did. You definitely captured the weight of depression and remorse. The words of this poem echo a nightmare I've been living the past year as I've desperately tried to help someone precious to me see he can choose to stand and he can make the decision to live. Reading this made me feel like I was peeking into his tortured brain and I felt the full weight of a year's worth of worry. I realize this was written years ago and it's hardly new to see the dark thoughts that plague your brilliant mind come to life on the page, but today, for me, it's too much. So please, forgive me, I'm about to get a bit preachy. I know you've had your demons and you've caused other's pain in the past. But I also have seen your good heart and your remorse. I just hope you know it's okay to forgive yourself for not being perfect and allow yourself to move forward. I believe in a Christ that suffered unspeakable torture because He knew each of us was worth saving. And He didn't do it for the abstract idea of us or simply so we could one day go to Heaven. I fully believe in the midst of his suffering in Gethsemane, Christ thought of Paul Stewart, knew the pain you'd both cause and endure in this life and took that weight upon His own shoulders, because He truly loves you and wants to help carry your burdens in this life so you can find joy. I'm not sure if I think you need to hear that today or if I'm just hoping you'll remember it the next time you have a sleepless night. Or maybe I just needed to remind myself because it's 4am and I've been up all night with worry.
Thoughtfully wading through darkness and despair...but giving a glimmer of hope in the midst of it all. I loved this, Paul - you might have more of a knack for this structured stuff than you think. :)
Kudos on your first villanelle—bang up job.
Peas in a pod, the two of us.
Excellent entry!! You managed to make it seem effortless despite the restrictions. ‘When you can't see tomorrow, death's attractive’ was especially evocative. As always, well done!!
This one (the first one) honestly reads much better than the jokey hell one! I still don’t really know the structure but I’m slowly cottoning on. Excellent theme, message, pace and rhythm! ☺️👏
I did miss this (family trip into London yesterday...it was...a lot. I took two neurodivergent kids to the busiest part of the busiest town on the busiest day. We survived. Just.) This felt SO hopeless and I was waiting for the glimmer of hope, and I was about to give up, and there it was, like your signature. Things can be awful (but they might not be forever).
"When you can't see tomorrow, death's attractive". This was my favouriteeee line. It was so deep! This was a fantastic first attempt at a Villanelle. It's a form that I'm so terrified to try. Mike makes it look so easy! Looking forward to reading more of your Villanelles! 🍩🥐
Reminds me of a great song I heard.
That was really good. And I agree, These really are a pain in the arse. I'm kinda enjoying the challenge though.
I also did my first villanelle. You did a nice job!
A M A Z I N G!!! Absolutely stellar job with this, pal! But I hope you aren’t experiencing too much of the nighttime wakings/beating yourself up. 💞 I do not like poetry rules either, so this challenge is really throwing me for a loop.