What’s The Point Of A Restart

Another late night and I’m stuck in my head,

5 months till I lose my temporary homes bed.

Was shedding tears because I was accepting the fact father will soon be dead.

Too many complications In my life .

Trying to figure out balance but dignity is my sacrifice.

No independence I feel like I’m breaking ,

No real feelings because the prescriptions pills I’m taking .

I’m told to not worry,

But how can one tell me how to write my damn story .

3 more hardships from another breakdown,

Shedding tears alone once because I can’t stand anyone around .

I don’t need the pity just some one with me ,

I just wish some understood the struggles I’m feeling.

I pray out to God for answers and I hope he doesn’t ignore me.

How am I suppose to keep on going ,

if there’s no support for me.

I handle so much pain but not on the outside ,

Oh honey you’re personality is spectacular ,oh yeah check out the inside 🥺💔❤️‍🩹.

I keep on waiting for some more hurt to get through to me,

Lord please give me some mercy.

Please elaborate the reason behind this chapter I’m enduring .

My feelings are a mess thinking of a love story with a blonde haired guy ,

He’s probably going to break my heart and I’m still around why ?

I think I’m blinded by the sparkle in his eyes green eyes,

But I hopeful he’s not just filling me with lies.

I called up a my friend and he let me vent ,

He said honey hows your life been spent .

I told a brief story but I did not cry ,

He said you need to be loved by good man and a tear almost come from my eye.

I get so close something just to let watch it die.

When will I ever find a balanced life worthy living,

Why in the hell am I breathing .

Take air from my lungs the air is polluted.

Stop my beating heart,

It’s still alive but has received to many scars .

Doesn’t deserve a restart.

Imperfect life before me,

I’m 27 but I didn’t think I’d still be writing sad poetry.