What Makes the Perfect Home for a Cat?

“So?” laughed the dog as he sat by the rat,

“What does make the perfect home for a cat?”

The rat whose answer was short and sweet,

Had said: “Things to eat and a place off the street!”

But the cat grinning widely through its big bushy tail,

Laughed and lowered its catnip cocktail.

“Why, my friends, you read me wrong!

A cat needs nothing more than a place to belong.”

The cat yawned wide and stretched its paws,

Flexing its tush in expectance of applause.

“The purrrfect home…?” The cat sat purring,

Happy thoughts whirring and stirring…

“The perfect home is one with slaves,

Who feed me cat treats when I crave.

A pricey carpet I throw up on,

That slaves then clean up – so it’s gone!

There’s lots of furniture I can scratch,

And a favourite seat I can snatch!

My bowls are brim-full with my food,

Which means I won’t be in a mood.

Don’t bother buying me lots of toys,

Just a cardboard box I’ll destroy.

I need some space to run about -

Once I’ve unleashed my excrement.

And please no visits to the V-E-T,

Unless it’s really an emergency.

But above all else there’s just one thing -

A human – my human who will always bring

Me love and care and understanding,

And lots of attention without demanding,

Who makes me feel I’m warm and safe,

On cold winter nights by the fire place…

… So you see,” The cat said with a lofty sigh,

“We’re not all ‘mighty and high’,

We may not be ‘man’s best friend’,

But we love our humans through to the end.”

And then the cat stood on all its fours,

Letting out a yawn as if hoping for more,

Then announced to the dog and the stunned little rat,

“Well, at least I can see another cat,

Without having to sniff the other one’s butt.”

Then turned away and left with a strut,

The dog feeling marred and the rat laughing hard.