What if I…

It's been a long time and I'm starting to think...

What if I don’t like guys?

What if I don’t have crushes on them anymore?

What if I see a girl and get all squirmy inside when I’m within her presence?

What if I know she’s the one?

What if love at first sight really is true?

What if it isn’t?

What if a guy sees me and thinks I’m the one?

What if a guy likes me but I don’t feel the same way for him?

What do I tell him?

What if that girl…the only person I see myself with openly likes another girl?

What do I tell her?

How do I explain that she’s the only person in the world I’ve had eyes for for so long?

How do I explain that to someone who considers us best “friends”?

What if I like other girls in the future?

What if I never like another guy again?

What if I don’t end up with a guy?

Could I really, truthfully love a girl?

Could a girl love me?

Does a girl love me?

Will she?

Has she?

Can we?

Do we?

…

But hey...

Forget about all that, will you.

...

Please?

What if I just lie to myself and deny these feelings?

What if I pretend I like someone I don’t?

What if I'm lonely forever?

But...

I'm also starting to ponder on...

What if I'm not?

What if I find the one, be it a girl or boy?

What if I'm happy?

What if I finally find myself and am true?

What if no one judges me for it?

Could you?

Would you?

Will you?

How?

Why?

Because women were only brought onto this planet to bear children?

What if I don't want them?

What if I don't want to give birth and instead vouch to adopt?

What if I change my mind?

What if I do end up with a boy?

What if I don't?

What if that's okay?

What if I'm okay?

What if who I am was okay to the world?

What if the world was okay to who I am?

What if the world was happy?

What if the world didn't need to lie?

What if we didn't need to lie?

So...

What if I don't like a guy?