What I Wanted

Love is what I wanted,

but cannot be found

just gazing and

hopeless wanting

Shooting stars

have streaked across

a moment lost.

Wishing in the past.

The smirks of

the knowing

hurt the most,

they predicted

and correctly won

No trophy

for the competition

just sadness

for the

beating heart.

I thought I could be tough

just keeping my heart cold,

my walls built up tall

nothing getting by

It's a lonely life.

Living this way.

Love is what I wanted,

but cannot be found

just gazing and

hopeless wanting.

I have friends

they call me friend, of course

I call them acquaintance.

I know them,

they know nothing of me.

Not even enough to snear.

They have a name.

But nothing deeper.

My secrets are my own.

So they can speculate,

and assume silly gossip.

Love is what I wanted.

but cannot be found.

Just gazing and

hopeless wanting.

I know the truth

and that is all that matters.

My walls never crumble

not even a chip