We Were Too Little
A Poem of Regret, Longing, and Healing
I saw you across the crowded store
Our eyes met
And for a moment
I saw recognition on your face
And the same desire
Burning in you
To run to me and embrace
But instead you turned away
W a i t !
I shouted and ran after you
You turned back and I
f
e
l
l
At your feet upon my knees
Tears streaming down my cheeks
Not caring who watched
P l e a s e
Please, I miss you
Just one moment
One conversation
please
Don't you ever think of us?
Of all we shared together?
R e m e m b e r
The nights of hide-n-seek
in the dark
When we knew the monsters
Lurking in fields and shadows
Were safer than the one
in his heart
R e m e m b e r
The sleepovers on the trampoline
When we giggled
and watched stars
Streaking across the night sky
Telling stories
of ghosts and aliens
Until we shivered from fear
yet
Still felt safer there
Knowing the real danger was
Far away at your house
R e m e m b e r
The long summer days splashing
In the pool
Or playing at the lake
Pretending he didn't watch us
Make-believing the only monsters
Lurked beneath the waves
I wonder
if we talked about it then
If I didn't make up a different
reality to keep him out
Would it be different now?
It isn't fair
All the precious things he stole
He took our dignity and innocence
He tainted trust and distorted love
He ripped away our boundaries
And silenced all our no’s
He shattered our security
And shredded our sense of self
He twisted every precious memory
Of a sunny beautiful childhood
Into a dark and haunting nightmare
In the end
Of all he stole from me
What hurts the most is losing you
Once we were like sisters
I understand
you had to build your walls
You had to run away to survive
Will you ever understand why
I buried my head
I hid from the truth
that threatened
To devour me
Because
I was too little
We were all too little
Can you ever forgive me
I'm sorry I wasn't stronger
It was worse for you
I know that now
I know you tried
to keep it from us
By doing what he said
And I had a home
with real love
And true safety
Where you could only visit
It was worse for you
And so you ran away
and left us
And none of us understood
Until it was too late
What we should have said to you
When we were little
But we were too little
Until it was too late
And so I imagine
seeing my lost friend
Across a crowded store
And finally getting to tell her
All the things
I can never really say
About the Creator
A. J. Schoenfeld
I only write about the real world. But if you look close enough, you'll see there's magic hiding in plain sight everywhere.
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Comments (8)
Damn. Hugs to you. I know you know but I will say it anyway. It's not down to you, as you were too young too. I understand the guilt and regret but you need to remember that. Like I say you know. But I'd have felt like a bad friend if I didn't voice it. I hope she sees this sometime. Maybe she has. And realises. We are all on journeys and when trauma and abuse are involved even more so. But she needs to find solace for her I guess as you do for you. I'm sorry there's been no reconciliation but like you said to Rachel. There's always time. Life is big, long and complicated and we are even worse lol. Thank you for being so brave in your writing. I admire that in your pieces. I did cry at this one too so if you're keeping score, you've won each piece got a cry. Lol. Silly comment to end on but wanted to make you laugh. Hugs to you, lass. Congrats on placing with this. Sorry I'm only just now going back and reading these and sharing in the excitement.
congratulations of the win.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your honourable mention! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations on your win 🙂
I so sorry . Monster kind of connect you two and she want to forget the bad experience you both shared. I hope you guys can support each other.
A.J., this is a real gut punch in so many ways and that refrain of "we were too little" is just so moving. So child should ever have to be put in a position like this. It's just awful. I was hoping you were reconciled but the ending made me even more sad. Great poem.
Aww this was so sad, but beautifully written.
So full of raw emotions almost made me cry. So well written ❤️