We Search For Our Own Light

We search for our light

in such dark tunnels

we enter and walk through.

No matter the amount

of darkness we notice,

there's always light

in each section of the tunnel.

Each direction is different;

some ways are

bright and colorful as paradise,

some ways are

black and gory as unlit attics.

We search for our light

in such dark tunnels

we enter and walk through.

Even if we don't notice

the light we have right away,

we'll notice it at one point.

Sometimes we find it now,

sometimes we find it at the end.

It doesn't matter when we've

found our light.

What matters is that

we found the lit part

of the tunnels we entered.

When COVID-19 hit, I thought that my life would be two times as worse as the pre-COVID days. It was quite an adjustment for me and I couldn't believe that the world was going to face such adversity. I was numb, despondent, anxious, infuriated and hopeless. It was like grieving over five people you've lost in your life. Everything was taken away from us and we were told to stay at home, caged in like animals. I started to miss hugging my family and live my life like I used to. It took me a week to adapt to the "new reality" people had to face. The good news is, I was able to adapt just like everyone else; it just took me a little more time and I was more sensitive to things. I just didn't show my emotions, because I had the ability to contain them and not make other people around me feel worse. The start of the pandemic was hard enough, that I didn't need to exacerbate it by insulting others with my words.

Fortunately, there was tons of positivity in my life to focus on during that negative time. Like I've stated in many of my Vocal stories, I got to stay in my beautiful and colourful apartment, read books, sleep-in, stay up late, paint, do jigsaw puzzles, play video games, listen to music, go on nature walks close to home, socialize with my neighbours while staying safe, write, exercise in the living room, watch Netflix, do crafts, post inspirational messages and poems on social media, webcam with friends and family and study languages. I was even able to successfully finish my second semester of college and received the President's Honours Award. I was so proud of my accomplishment that I ended up posting it on Facebook, so my friends can see what I was able to achieve during the pandemic. I was in a better predicament than some people who were less privileged and didn't have anything to be grateful for. Getting back into old pastimes and practicing new hobbies, socializing, receiving an honour's roll and sleeping more were not the only things that kept me sane during the pandemic. There was another goal that I was able to achieve during the summer of the pandemic!

On June 1st 2020, I decided to start the SlimFast diet and embark on my weight loss journey! Years before COVID-19, I was struggling with my weight and tried many ways to lose weight. Nothing worked, because I wasn't motivated and mentally ready to lose weight. When I discovered the SlimFast diet, I felt like losing weight was not intense and rather fun. I got to eat whatever I wanted, as long as I stuck to my calorie budget which was 1200 calories a day. I love smoothies and milkshakes, so I got to have a couple of those each day on the diet! I also enjoyed exercising way more than I used to. Within a few weeks, I started to notice some tremendous changes: my clothes became loose, my mental health was getting better, I was more fit, I had an easier time controlling my appetite and I felt more satisfied with myself. My parents and other loved ones also noticed some drastic changes and they were quite proud of me. I'll continue to stay healthy and fit during this last bit of the pandemic, as well as after the pandemic!

In 2021, my building experienced a couple of outbreaks which were quite nerve-wracking and traumatic for myself and all the other tenants. During the first outbreak which happened on January 19 and ended on February 16 2021, we were ordered to stay in our apartments, like criminals in prison. On January 25 2021, I received my first dose of the Moderna vaccine. It was good, because I got to get the first dose in the comforts of my own apartment, as opposed to a clinic. We were not supposed to leave our apartments. If we needed to pick up deliveries or take out garbage, residential staff and the janitors had to assist us. I couldn't do my laundry, because the laundry room was off-limits for us! Although my worker offered to do it for me, I still didn't feel it was appropriate. I was afraid that she would forget to bring some of the stuff up, so I politely refused her offer. Once the outbreak was over, I hosted a "quarantine-style hot chocolate party" in which I made myself a delicious cup of hot cocoa and watched videos in my living room. I was able to go for walks and do whatever I needed to do in the community. I was still obliged to wear a mask, hand sanitize and social distance, which wasn't an issue for me. On February 22 2021, I received my second dose of the Moderna vaccine in a meeting room that's located in the lobby.

The second outbreak happened on March 21 and ended on April 5 2021. It was even better, because the weather was nicer and I got to enjoy the outdoors again. I was allowed to go out and about in the community, while I was still mandated to follow public health measures. I continued doing my favourite activities at home and got to complete some courses I needed to take for my diploma. For the second time, I received the President's Honours Award. I was so proud of myself that I posted it on Facebook for my friends and family to view and comment on. No matter how much I went through during COVID-19, I was still able to appreciate everything I had to keep me occupied and satisfied: school, books, the park, my friends and family, exercise, dance, games, puzzles, writing and much more!

The spring and summer of 2021 kept getting better and better. I felt more at ease and understood the pandemic a bit better. I would try to reduce my news intake to focus on more positive things and enjoy the start of the beautiful weather. Instead of returning to work at the summer camp, I chose to work from home. I didn’t want to work outdoors in a mask for 8 hours, so I just didn’t bother returning this year. I began getting together with friends and going on more outings in the community. As always, I spend my days going on long walks, working from home, reading, doing puzzles, playing video games, working out and spending time with the people I truly love and care about. To help me get overcome this last bit of the pandemic, I‘ll keep being as positive as I can! I have lots to be happy about, so I just need to have the mindset! I started strong so I’ll finish strong! I hope you guys will too!

Thank you so much for reading my poem and story about how I was able to be positive during the pandemic. If you enjoyed reading this poem, please give it a 💕, share it with others who may be interested and don’t hesitate to send me a tip to show your support. Stay tuned and visit my public profile for more stories, articles and poems on Vocal! Feel free to connect with me on Instagram and have a great week!

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