Was It All Just a Dream, My Former Self?

Last night, a flood of memories washed over me, and I found myself missing my old self profoundly. Looking back, I see the path I've walked, the hardships I've endured, the injustices I've suffered, and the tears I've shed. Unknowingly, I've carried so much grievance and unwillingness.

I've stumbled along the way, losing my former pride and my original essence. I've transformed from childishness to maturity, from simplicity to complexity, from straightforwardness to caution, and from carefree to full of defense. I can never return to the simple, happy person I once was.

In truth, only I know there are some obstacles I can never overcome. In the adult world, nothing is truly easy. The evening breeze awakens me, and everything remains held within my heart. I haven’t cried foul, nor have I complained. I've simply acknowledged it. I couldn’t sleep before because I slept too much; now, I can’t sleep because I think too much—because of people, because of situations, because of troubles, and an unsatisfactory life. No one knows why I'm awake in the middle of the night. Those things that can’t be undone always have their reasons.

Many times, I pretend that nothing matters on the surface, yet in reality, there are too many sorrows and grievances in my heart that I cannot express. I've stumbled along the way, learning a lesson with every step. No one can be anyone's safe haven. I have to wipe my own tears and bear the pain by myself. I hold it in when I'm tired, when I'm suffering, when I'm wronged, when I'm sick, and when I want to cry. I have to carry all the significant burdens alone. I have no choice but to be strong.

Thank you for reading!