Want Me

I want you

To want me,

But I don’t want you

To need me.

I want you

To have

So many other things

That make you happy.

So don’t tell me

That I’m the one thing

That makes your life

Worth living

Like it’s flattering,

Because honestly

The idea

That I mean so much

To somebody

Weighs me down

With anxiety.

It doesn’t feel like a privilege.

It feels like a weight…

Like I always have to be

The best version of me

In your company,

Because if I am

The brightest light

In your life

Then it feels like

I always have to be alright.

That I always have to be bubbly,

And funny

To keep you smiling.

And I know

These words aren’t yours…

They’re mine…

So I apologize

If I’m writing any lies,

But I feel like

I’d be letting you down

If I showed you

My uglier sides

As often

As I’d actually like.

My mad.

My sad.

My frustrated…

They all hide backstage,

Because if I play

Such a large role

In your happiness,

I never want to ruin

A single one

Of your days.

So please,

Don’t look at me

Like I’m the answer

To all of your worries.

Don’t look at me

Like I’m your compass,

Your reason,

Your everything…

I don’t want to be.

I want you to want me,

But I REALLY don’t want you

To need me.