Walked Out

That day I walked in, knowing this should have never been.

Knowing I should have never felt the way that I did that day.

Knowing that feeling small, and feeling unimportant was no longer OKAY.

Sure, maybe I was unimportant but to be treated this way, I would not take it.

And yet still I came in. acted fine, and borderline faked it.

But then came those lines, ‘ I didn’t even want you here’, which made me realize

With a twist of the gut, that I didn’t belong, and in that moment everything began to feel wrong.

With this revelation I’d sadly hoped my irregular presence hadn’t come on too strong, and that one day there’d be a place for me, in which I didn’t feel like an empty kid simply being strung along, and given the idea that her very being was too much to bare, and that her opinions deserved to be tossed because no one would ever listen or have reason to care.

But despite the wound those seemingly playful words had seemed to carry, I soon was given an opportunity to stand, as being in their presence made me feel wary.

I slowly trudged over to the smooth wooden shelves, filled back to back with fantasies, ones I wish I could easily dive into, to relieve the pain that was my tragic reality. With nothing more than the emptiness of a dead abyss, I trailed my fingers along their spines’ steadiness.. The spines of each beautifully written creation, possibly in an attempt to rub some of their steadiness onto me, and in that moment it takes all of my willpower not to flee.

But as I stand in my own suffocating silence I become aware of what I must do. Some will say it was risky, and that may be true. But could it have been any riskier than staying and

feeling everything that’s wrong with you?

And so I walked out.

I didn’t look back, for fear I’d break, I didn’t halt or falter mainly for my own sake.

That day, I told myself, ‘I shall never allow myself to once again, see this kind of fate’.

And so, that day I’d walked out before it was too late.

That day I walked out.