Waiting

Beyond reach

Catatonic state

Paralimbic breech

Tapping

Tapping

Of my feet

I must move

Must collect the remnants…

My brain-

Muddled

My thoughts rolling

Wildy treacherous

Like a rapidly swelling river

Too swift to catch

Too dangerous to breach

Raging torrent

Unceasing-

Torrential tears

Ever increasing

in depth and intensity

Rushing rapidly to nowhere…

Unencumbered-

Devoid of the minute vicissitudes of id

Tapping

Tapping

Nervous…

Tapping

Anguish…

Tapping

My unsettled feet-

The only clue…

Brainwaves-

Still zapping

Diligently

Bursting in rhythm along my cerebral cortex

Neural networks-

A superhighway

Relaying messages

Ingraining surreptitious knowledge

Creating new roadways within my grey matter

Zooming along the interior

My wildly alive

Unbroken mind imperceivable to an untrained eye

Tapping…

- Sudden halt-

(Looking on with a blank stare into nowhere)

Silent room attendants suddenly appear

Enter my lair completely unaware

Of the journey I was on or of the mission… still yet withstanding

Seeing no signs of distress

They digress… begin to chatter amongst themselves Something about the weather Historical torrential rainfall…“Absolutely unyielding!”.

Their focus shifts, once again, back to the spectre tapping

Tapping away before them

Weary, watchful room attendants whisper

Just under breath…

“Poor thing just broke; just like that, more than she could bear… too much to take all alone out there… just too much.”

In my present state-

My mind, resembles an overgrown garden

In dire need of weeding

Too many deleterious details cluttering… Overpowering… Darkening the beauty and simplicity

Destroying harmony The peace

No longer free to explore- My private world To dream and explore thoughts ideas… memories… my mind unable to soar without limitation

As life tends to do, It hurled one too many obstacles… again and again… obstructing safe passage.

Each time I sought to travail… each time I buckled down … to try again… to make it work… to put my heart, my soul into the path… I dreamt was just within my grasp

And because of constant misfortune I had to power down

In order not to fully self-destruct

Miles before the switch turned off there was a foreboding in my soul a waning just below Along the fading horizon

An ominous image of what was to come…

To save my self-

I shut off, almost without complete conscience awareness

Now I sit in a generic form of hyper-sleep; induced by my keepers on their nightly routine… I can always hear them coming… doling out colorful chemical deactivating potions within my hypothalamus … down the hatch- with a tiny Dixie cup… 1/10 of the way full... the contents: frigid and putrid

Temporarily rendering me dormant…

But, unbeknownst to them… also in a state of calculating latency

In hibernation I sit… Silent … waiting…

Tapping

Incessantly…

Tapping

My small imperfect feet…

Tapping

No words

Just tapping…

To remind myself-

I’m still here…

Indeed, If I can find my feet

And my feet still participate with very little prodding

Then, all essential tools necessary for escape are present

The impossibility of living eternally in synchronized symbiosis with my current state of caged distress I must take flight

The road back to life is within my reach

I am inexorably untethered by any prison, cage, cuff, strap, tie, deactivation wafer or HUMAN

Freedom is visible Just above the horizon

I will find a path…

Begin a new journey

Perhaps, go back… to the place where I shut down… Where I turned the switch off… I’ll start again, but this time… I will prevail.

This time I Will WIN

My imperfectly perfect feet…

Will carry me forward without question-

Just as soon as the juxtaposition of my realities preclude

I will be on my way once again

(Loud resounding tapping)