Violently Violent

Backing Track: “Everything is Everything” by Lauryn Hill Instrumental

Violently Violet

I wrote these words for everyone,

Who struggles in their youth...

I know that I laugh way too damn much

Cackling, giggling, and heaving for air

If I’m lucky I can get tears to roll down my face

If I’m lucky I can forget,

Forget the pain that is synonymous with being here

My heart is heavy with the pain

of being here

It drains me

to swallow the reality

of every brilliant image

and every deafening word

The 5 senses

Blessings and curses

Tools to test our souls

Do you want freedom?

An Inner Voice booms

How badly?

Yes!

Please!

"Then find the Truth."

So my weary soul struggling to keep it’s light

makes a list:

I know I am a mush pot

Blending and mixing different flavors into my violet spirit’

I know I am black, but look Indian, and sometimes "talk white"

I know whatchu y’all see

But what do I see?

I want to befriend each person

To have a love that encompasses all of reality

Alas, this is not reality

You must choose who is friend or foe

You must love either

the man or the woman

The terrorist or the patriot

the liberal or the conservative

the atheist or the nun

The mother or the daughter

Yup you heard me!

Everyone knows that mothers and daughters never agree

Funny,

I also know that I am my mother’s daughter

Sculpted by her precise words and desires

Her desires were never meant to be mine

Her views were never meant to be mine

Through her generational eyes she saw this wretched world as what it is

I saw it as what it could be

Seasons change and my existence grows more soulless

I guess that is why I love soul music

Ms. Hill speak to me now!

“Everything is everything

What is meant to be, will be

After winter, must come spring

Change, it comes eventually.”

But what if it’s all the same Old and New

Strong and Weak

Good and Evil

What is

and What could be

What if my place is not to be what I think I am

But to find my place in what is

“Why are you here Nadia?”

My Inner Voice stops booming

and starts to sound so familiar

“You are a violent force that is to be feared.

You are here to break down the barriers

that create the dichotomies within these societies.”

Division and Confusion is the tool of the slave master

The Youth will become strayed from their noble purpose

So my voice finally breaks through my scared

and my feeble

and my tired too

“No,” I say

She tells me different,

She tells me,

You will liberate and be liberated

You will bring joy

“Laugh your face off,” she says.

Because Today

is a new day

She says always remember:

To look with chaste eyes,

Perceive the oneness of all things,

And only open when what was said to the rose or jasmine is said to you

In your chest

Someone once told me that if I were a flower I would be a violet

Violet, the most violent color

the most silent color

A flower that is audaciously herself.

She is so audaciously silent that you will never notice her

Only You can notice her

A flower empathetic to the universe

Having the humility to be harmonious

Spectrum, Light , and soundly unique

Just like me

and just like you too.

So remember to only speak when spoken to

and when you do speak

Speak because it brings you violent joy

The kind of joy that doesn’t just make you laugh, but sing