Violently Conflicted

Always in my heart

Beautiful memories take their hold

Caressing my psyche

Donating a list of reasons to stay

Every one of them more valid than the last

Forgetting you'll be gone though

Going for the opportunity life presented

Having you in my days has left me smiling

Imagining them without you feels like despair

Just the thought and I break down

Kind of touching how much you move me

Like the ocean waves elevate a buoy

My soul floats on the surface of your emotions

Never far from the source of your discontentment

Only we know how real this is

Putting myself in your shoes only left me

Questioning myself and my motivations

Raw wounds too fresh to heal, I pick open daily

Suspecting I won't stop, though I know better

Traveling this road is an unexpected journey

Underneath it all, I'm still the same

Violently conflicted, torn between two paths

When it's time, the stars will let me know

Xerox of old struggles, resurfaced now

Yearning to be settled once and for all

Zombie thinking in the past, I have agency today