Vicious Ambition
Not enough on my plate
What a word,
hungry.
---
I insist on using it, though it presents discomfort,
pain, excitement, strangeness.
Too powerful so we become nervous around it.
Excellence, relentlessness,
---
brokenness.
---
I want it, and I just want.
I will squeeze it until it is pulpy.
I will pay for the bitterness of the drink.
I am Hungry.
---
I am hungry when rent is due and I am a broken fence line,
the grass is mowed but my car won't start.
I am growling amongst the sighs,
and talking like I own them.
---
I am selling myself tall
and dreaming of top-shelf.
I will be foolish and carve the edges,
until the gardens in my backyard
quit thinking there will be plants.
---
My merit is a destined late arrival.
I am three pages deep and ready for prologue,
a four-lane highway and misleading exits.
---
So I am full
and putting on the weight of life
I am spent
and entering the main course.
---
A stale lesson on giving,
the moment before I question
---
if I can have what you didn't finish.
About the Creator
Lisa H
I'm learning to be wildly inappropriate, ridiculous, needy - and alive.
Thank you so much for all the support!
Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts5 days ago in Longevity
Comments (2)
oh gosh, surprise after surprise. the way you manipulate words--lovely.❤️
I resonated once again with each & every phrase, each & every line, the multiplicities of paradox & mixed metaphors--& then, the coup de grâce, "if I can have what you didn't finish." Perfecto! That is "hungry"! (And pretty much what happens every time my wife & I go out to eat.)