Variegated in My Momentum

I felt myself change

the moment I walked into the hospital

Long white-coat, crisp

and unmarked

Blue scrubs, turned soft

from communal use

Navy stethoscope used during training,

a talisman from what came before

Now the keeper of knowledge

paired with imminent experience

No one is ever ready

for those first days

Yet I marched forward

because the needs of the ill

and suffering

Were greater than my own fear

Where I used to see white

in panic induced synesthesia

My system was already going through a metamorphosis

The Old habit of freezing in place

giving way to red

at the call of a code

Overcoming inertia had never been this easy

A rapid response full of urgency

fueled my footsteps

which left fear behind

in their wake

The rush of adrenaline brought forth action

and healing

There was no dying that day

I felt a change in my blood

Flowing through my veins

I was ready.