up with yourself.

lilith and chiron fused by gemini, yelling from the eleventh house down, squared off with the id and the ego, and staring down desire for revolution of any scale as long as it's eternal; on my own, hansel and grettleing endless breadcrumbs and splenda in the ethers and dreamscapes until i still; realize something about this trail isn’t right. third-eye sightseeing; my soul isn’t lost just because my body hasn’t been home in a while. too otherwise occupied, busy discovering mysteries looking in the darkest of places, wide and far, low and high in the great in-between. damn near the stars- outer space and back to ground, the abyss of bottomless, defiant emotions defined- time after time after this time will be different, i can feel it. because i go wilder for how low this hopeless cause can sink. it really turns me on when you don’t spare the abuse, when you talk to me with such bitter disgust of your tongue. just like i'm trash because i'll gladly be some other man’s treasure- in alternative terms, i love me. i know when to at the very least; i'm golden. you can have my tears, but my heart just wants to be broken into even more pieces so there’s more to go around. no secrets about it so don’t tell me you think you know how i should feel. your point of view of who i am isn’t me so who you think i should be is just a fantasy, and that’s that- nothing is stopping you; yet you can't seem to take that as your own nor up with yourself. as long as you can't, your truth and the realities left behind will stay irreconciled; i am a man who can be made more whole by leaving little bits of who he isn't but wants to be in the past for who he will be to be grateful for who he was.