until i touched you

the steps are written in the deepest part of me.

i know them. it was he that should have been there, but he wasn't.

you were.

"and spin," she called. i did, allowing my spine to dip with the movement. one step connected to the next, nothing left distant, everything intertwined.

i should have spun into him, but instead it was you.

i almost stumbled. my pulse raced. my head spun even as my body stilled to look into your eyes. eyes that ran like melting chocolate after a day in the cold winter air.

you looked down at me, eyes kind, a soft smile.

i watched your hand come up to brush my fingers then you took my hand and with it, my heart.

the touch sent me over, your rough hands from hours of work collided with my smooth slim fingers.

i think you felt it too. the air that stilled around us, the music that encircled us until we were encapsulated into our own world.

nothing else. there was nothing else. just you and me.

i knew we only had two eight counts to stand there, i should have been counting. i wasn't. time stopped. the world paused to allow me to memorize ever part of that moment.

ever part of the way your shirt stretched over your muscular arms and the sweet smell of pine that drifted to me.

"closer,'' she called, ''scare the audience into thinking you're going to kiss."

i wanted nothing more in that moment to lean closer to you, to let my lips brush yours. to forget the part that came next, the part i dreaded.

my breath was quick, not from the counts before, it was you.

then you were leaning,

closer.

closer.

closer.

it was too much and i pushed away needing to step into the next sequence. if only to give my lungs a chance to catch air.

you followed beside me only knowing the steps from hours of watching.

it was supposed to be him, not you.

then you left and i continued to move across the floor. each step connected to the one before, i wasn't moving of my own accord any longer. it was you who moved me. i was chasing after you.

''skip to the end,'' she said and you were there again.

there was only a moment to take one deep breath before i turned to face you where you stood.

you closed the distance.

i held onto your shirt knowing that the missing steps were there to break me.

that was the purpose of the song. for one man to love me and for another to take me from him and rip me apart. to clutch my heart so closely only you would be able to untangle it.

he never pulled me out so fast. but you did. the moment your hands were around me, i was no longer the broken victim the other man made me to be.

i sucked in a breath.

i barely caught her shouts, ''like that, just like that!"

i could never dance like that with him, it would have to be you standing before me. because in a piece that forced me to break, you were the only one who could put me back together.