Unspoken

My words go unspoken

My thoughts run in a train of a circle and you just say "okay."

My feelings feel confused.

Yet I’m the one sitting here hoping for comfort.

You shut me down like I’m the metal gate that you just park your car in.

Self-doubt, hate, and depression wave over me like the waves in the ocean.

With every big wave, I start to diminish.

My heart shrinks.

I feel as if the air I breathe becomes dry.

I’m wanting to be seen but by coming to you I start to think:

Am I the problem just wanting to be seen?

Makes me sound so mean.

Confusion is what lies with me.

So the blankets covering me. Almost like I was thrown into a dark cave and the opening was bolted shut.

Am I going to make it?

Is someone gonna hear my screams, cries, worries,

or am I just going to sit and sit in this damn dark cave

until a cold-blooded smile swirls around me and I get bit.

I don’t want to hold my anger in anymore.

I want to let it out.

But if I do, will I then get punished with all the doubt

Will I blame myself?

I could’ve just put one AirPod in and just say “ignore it.”

I’m the one hurting.

I’m the one on the edge.

For good God's sake, I just want my words to be said.

That’s all for now.

Even though my words are left to go unspoken, let alone —

The only thing I feel is...

Broken.