Unsolved

They say give credit where credit is due,

but no one will know all the ways I served you.

No one hears about the things we threw,

no one will ever see you from my point of view.

Everyone sees your successes with your wife,

but no one will ever know how I changed your life.

The struggles we shared, the shameful strife—

my scars still tender, you still hold the knife.

No one will see how we helped each other grow in ways no one else can,

where I started to find myself,

where I began.

No one will ever know how you helped me become a woman,

’cause things grew sour—

now a foe where once there was a fan.

It’s weird to think two powers like us could collide—

somehow misleading, while still being a guide.

So dark and heavy, one hell of a ride,

just to never speak again,

a wound that I hide.

I smile,

but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel hurt.

I’m not saying this to kick up old dirt.

You were the sweetest,

then you were a jerk.

I’m no saint—

I found ways to itch your irk.

But I still wonder:

why couldn’t we make it work?

It wasn’t that we didn’t click,

we just went berserk.

When I speak of exes, I always say, “Wish ’em the best.”

I hope they’re happy,

because my life is blessed.

Always moving forward, laying the past to rest—

but my body remembers who’s gotten it undressed.

I’m human,

and I’m prone to feeling insecure.

I often wonder to myself,

“Why not me? Why with her?”

Was it because we were too immature?

Even if we were,

there was so much we had to endure.

Guess it just wasn’t the cure.

I’m grateful,

I’m thankful,

but I also want resolve.

So many things I never got to share—

like how you helped me evolve.

Our past relationship is a puzzle

I still try to solve.

I should just let go,

just let it dissolve.

But we were friends for so many years—

before all the pain,

before all the tears.

Just two high school kids sharing fears,

whispering forever in each other’s ears.

How did you go all this time without even a call?

How could you act like it didn’t matter at all?

You don’t owe me answers,

I’m not trying to brawl.

But you still hold the power

to make me feel small.

I reminisce on my past so I can grow,

think of all the things I thought I used to know,

think about how I used to never have the strength to say no.

Thanks to you,

strength is now just my status quo.

But still—

I’m just a silly little girl,

finding my way around this man’s world.

Figuring it all out,

one day at a time.

Sometimes,

I still think about the past—

but say,

“I’m doing just fine.”