What a horrible realization,
to know, very suddenly, that the warm
and heavy feeling in your chest
is love for someone you cannot have.
To remain silent and pretend,
is all at once an immeasurable torture
and a worthwhile endeavor
because you know a friendship ruined is
not worth the price of
your spirit unburdened.
And so you listen, and you stay his friend of course,
And the heaviness of feeling and knowing remains,
And you wonder, what if?
About the Creator
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts7 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
I relate to this so much. I have fallen in "heavy like" with two friends and it feels like I am doing something, rather feeling something so wrong. I think there are lots of people to fall in love with but am a true monogamist.