Unjust Justice

It’s messed up that we live in a nation so flawed, where defending yourself becomes a crime outlawed.

Arrested, condemned for fighting the pain, for striking back against life’s cruel chain.

My dad came at me with a baseball bat in hand, at sixteen, I stood where I couldn’t withstand.

In a surge of rage, I took it from him, then, in a moment of weakness, I struck again and again.

The anger consumed me, my vision went red. The years of abuse echoing in my head.

I was sent to prison, locked away, for the defense that shattered that fateful day.

It hurts knowing how badly I hurt my dad, despite the cuts, broken bones, and bruises I had.

Each strike I landed was a cry from my soul, a desperate attempt to regain some control.

But what hurts the most, what haunts me at night, Is the hatred I harbor, a dark, endless fight.

How could I still hate the man who raised his hand? Yet long for his pride, to understand.

The justice system saw only the scene, a boy with a bat, his anger obscene.

But they couldn’t see the years of despair, the beatings, the fear, the weight I bear.

In my cell, I grapple with guilt and regret, for the pain I inflicted, the lines I offset.

I’m torn between the wrong and the right, In a world where shadows blur with light.

I hate him, I love him, I’m lost in between, a swirl of emotions, a haunting routine.

To seek his approval, a desire so deep, Yet knowing his pride is a dream I can’t keep.

A father’s love twisted, a son’s heart betrayed, In the battle for peace, my soul is waylaid.

It’s messed up, this nation, this heart-wrenching plight, where justice is blind to a child’s desperate fight.

In the silence of night, I search for release, from the torment within, to find some peace.

For now, I carry the burden alone, in a world where justice has turned to stone.

How do I reconcile the hate and the pain, with the need for forgiveness, to be whole again?

It’s a heartbreaking journey, a confusing quest to find solace, to lay my heart to rest.