Unedited Spirit Writing

Anxiety

Is killing me

Its hard to pretend

Any longer

Things I dont want

You to see

Things about me

You’ll treat me

Differently

I know it will happen

Due to history

Its a mystery

Its really hard

To believe

That you love me

Heard it before

No trickery

Pretty please

Let me go

If you don’t really

Its gonna be okay

We all

Make mistakes

Get in caught up

In the moment

Say things

Face to face

That we wish

We could erase

Not saying

Thats what happened

Just saying

Here’s a fraction

Of my thoughts

You dont seem

To like to share

Many thoughts

Which is rare

For you to do

Since you

Always be talking

I dont deal

With the

Silent treatment

Very well

Wish I

Could explain

What the hell

With the symptomatic

Shit that I deal with

I’m aware

That its there

Dont have to

Be reminded

Just know that

That I care

No hard feelings

I get that

I’m a rare commodity

Hard to get

Confusing as heck

Yes, I know

In due time

It will show

Whats below

My surface glow

Just don’t know

Don’t understand

You seem

To be a fan

So far

Despite my flaws

Even when

I take

Out the claws

We are a match

I do believe

As long as you

Can see

That you need

To be

Open minded

You just may

Find that

Things are

Not what

They seem

Not to be mean

You seem set

In your ways

There are days

That I wonder

The same things

That you think

But dont share

Out loud

To me

Maybe you’re araid

To be vulnerable

To really

Be seen

As what you think

Not what you say

Or what you do

Whats really true

On the inside

Of you

Stuck your ways

They seem to stay

Lighting you ablaze

Like a Taurus

When you’re a Leo

Doesn’t compute

With moon

And the stars

So close

Yet so far

Maybe they

Have the answers

To the blurs

For the questions

That I have

So we’ll see

What it says…

Zodiac signs

Time to shine

Some light

On my situation

Please be hasty

No time

To waste

My heart

Gets breaky

Please God

Save me

From this season

I’m believing

That you got this

You won’t drop me

Probably saw this

Coming already

So you’re ready

In case I fall

Won’t be long now

Little pow wow

Don’t like

Confrontation

Its part of

My situation

With my mind

Hard to find

A way

To make it stop

Not to seem selfish

Its just hard

To explain

The problem

Is in my heart

My souls infected

With high empathy

Know you’ve seen it

My sensitivity

On a different level

Rare to see

Tough to be

Looking at me

From your perspective

Which I’m sure

Is just

What happens

In my shoes

Dont wanna lose

People that I love

Think I’ve

Said enough

Save the rest

For later

When I’m braver

Or just keep

Some thoughts

To myself

Sounds safer

Than exposing

Just stay frozen

Say nothing

Laugh and smile

Go the mile

Or just quit

Fucking faking it

Can’t manage it

Can’t do drama

Which is my

Business why

Either way the

Thought of it

Makes me sick

Not so much to ask

Shouldn’t be a task

Not be a dick

Dont bode well with it

Too much for my brain

Makes me go insane

Makes me wonder

Why such care

Its only thunder

Making noise

Boys will be boys

Well hand me

The earplugs

I dont deal

With those ploys

Talk to me nice

Hate to tell you twice

Not a good idea

To get in a fight

Over trivial matters

That dont even matter

Unless you just

Like to bitch

Like the sound

Of your voice

When you

Get serious

You’re not the almighty

All knowing

God I call father

So dont disrespect me

With your tone

Even over the phone

Watch what you say

And how you say it

Can’t take back

How your words

Made someone feel

Words can hurt

Still not healed

Not that

I’m fragile

Its the pain

That I feel

That I have to deal

With everyday

If you understand

Words are

My worst enemy

All day they

Haunt me

As cruel as

They can be

Not as painful

As the words

You speak to me

Not sure why

Every fucking guy

Has this tone

That I dont like

They never

Fucking understand

Why I can’t

Handle that shit

When all they need to do

Is tone it down a bit

Thats all I ask

I’m not that needy

So speak freely

I can hear you better

When you say it nice

There is no fucking price

Being gentle

Is free of cost

Dont get lost

In the words

Know my heart

Dont go far

Dont fade away

Was hoping

You were here to stay

Please don’t be afraid

Of all the stuff I’m saying

These are my rhymes

And my emotions

Gotta let it out

Words are my healing potion

Also they’re my kryptonite

Which is bittersweet

Just need

That balance

Helps to flow

To a beat

Just to see

The fruit of my labor

If it matches up

In a way that

Can be heard

In a way

Thats creative

Much more fun

For me

Than to run

Away from feelings

Instead of dealing

With some issues

That make me confused

They say thats the devil

I can see how that’s true

Please dont think its you

This is nothing new

Scared to risk the blues

Not a good time

I dont like crying

Makes me think

Of everything

Makes me feel like dying

Trying to stay alive here

So please don’t

Rock my boat

Trying to stay afloat

In these crazy times

Protect my sanity

Let go and be free

What is meant to be will be

All I can do

Is be me

While I’m sitting pretty

Dont be jealous

Please no hate

On my lifestyle

Which you wouldn’t get

No need to be upset

It is what it is

Hate when you fret

Makes me wanna

Tell my biz

Thats just not

What is

Gonna happen

Anytime soon

Really doesn’t matter

Times running out

Dont wanna pout

Wanna be like, next

Hi, I’m a hot mess

Might as well confess

Skip all the bullshit

Lets just get undressed

You think you’re

Using me?

Think again

Cuz I’m using you

Drink my witches brew

Bitch fuck you

Lick my poison

Dream come true

Dont you ever

Lie to me

I’ll find you

Not really

Karma will

Its the truth

What comes around

Goes around

Doesn’t make a sound

Creeps up

On your life

While you’re

Least expecting it

To happen

To you

Life can be cruel