Unadded

I went to send a message today to someone I’ve known for half my life.

We went to high school together. I’ve known them since elementary or maybe middle school. We haven’t talked in years, not since 2023, but I didn’t think there was any bad blood. So I pulled up their profile and got ready to reach out.

But boom. Unadded. What do you mean they unadded me? They used to watch all my stories.

I was a little shocked, a little disappointed, a little sad. But I reminded myself that no one owes me an explanation for their silence, just like I don’t owe them a space in my life again.

The whole situation was weird anyway. We hung out in 2023 for the first time in a while and then they never spoke to me again. I figured maybe I’d break the ice. Turns out they started a whole ice storm.

Dear old friend,

You went from Snapchatting me every day in 2022 to complete silence in 2023 after we hung out. Then in 2026 unexpectedly you cut me off. My mind immediately started racing to what I could’ve done or posted to make you unadd me after all these years of knowing you.

It is pretty obvious that if someone you know in person unadds you on social media they probably no longer want to be associated with you in real life either. Which is fine. You deserve to cut off whoever you want whenever you want without explanation.

I guess I would’ve liked an explanation but you didn’t owe me one.

I was just shocked.

I came up with some scenarios in my head. Maybe you got into a relationship and your partner is jealous. Maybe you cleaned out your Snap list for the new year and I was one of the people you didn’t talk to anymore. Maybe someone told you something bad about me. Maybe it’s because I never reached out anymore either and you were secretly upset with me.

I’d like to think clear communication could’ve fixed any unspoken feelings between us.

Either way my mind can ruminate all it wants but only you know why you cut me off.

What stings is that days before you unadded me I was thinking about you. I wanted to see what life had been like for you. I guess that message was never meant to be sent.

Out of all the people who could possibly unadd me I never thought you would be one. You used to drive me home from school. I used to go to your basketball games. We could spend hours texting about anything and nothing.

But that was a past version of us. One that doesn’t exist anymore.

Part of me feels like I’m to blame too. I never reached out again either because I felt like you didn’t want to talk to me. I apologize if my silence made you think I no longer cared because I did.

But now quite frankly I don’t. Because when someone walks away all we can do is let them.

I even thought about having a mutual friend or acquaintance reach out to see if I did something wrong or if you wanted to talk it out. Then I thought about it deeply. If I have to do that just to have a conversation it’s probably not worth it.

I even thought about messaging you on a different platform. Again probably not worth it.

Still I don’t wish you bad. I’m actually kind of glad you knew when to walk away. It means you recognized when something no longer served you.

I’m learning to do the same.

To be honest if I saw you in public I likely wouldn’t say hi because what else would there even be to say. But there’s no resentment or malice toward any of the people I once loved, cared about, or even liked.

So dear old friend,

Thank you for the car rides.

Thank you for the long text chats.

Thank you for the basketball games.

I guess we’ve both moved past that now.

Maybe we were just meant to outgrow each other. Maybe it’s not personal. Maybe it is.

Either way I accept it.

I won’t chase what doesn’t want to stay.

I hope your career takes off.

I hope your life is full of joy.

I hope you find the people who make you feel seen.

I hope you healed from the things you don’t talk about.

I hope all your dreams come true.

And maybe when we’re really old I’ll bump into you in the nursing home.

For now this is it.

With love always,

Your old friend