Un Dia A La Vez

Chaos and confusion fill my head, on this unending mission.

When you feel everything and nothing all at once: what do you do? How can you get through?

The damage is done, embedded upon my aching soul.

I must heal and grow, it’s harder to wake with each passing day. It doesn’t hurt every moment, the emotions they come and they go.

Anger, disappointment, pain,disgust, shame, pain,sadness, fear, pain, sadness, more anger and fear.Sorrow and emptiness.

Heart throbbing, brain running, tears awaiting to flow. Only wanting this aching to go away.

Un dia a la vez: one day at a time, I continue to remind myself. I know in order to heal I must let each emotion pay me a visit, or two or three…

I won’t let them extend their visit, merely come and pass. Don’t sulk and wallow in one or the other.

Yet as hard and uncomfortable as the process may be, I know it’s pertinent to let them visit no matter how unwelcome.

I must not suppress and prevent myself the healing I so deserve.

Constant reminders pop in and out of my heart and head.

Words said in anger, actions committed straight out of spite with intention to kill.

Cut. They cut so deep my soul it still bleeds.

Constant delusions, trying to decipher the fake from the real.

Un dia a la vez. One day. Yes one day it won’t hurt so bad. And the scars will be my only constant reminder.