To Write

You realize

that every piece you’ve ever written

was loosely based off of whomever you were in love with at the time

You fall in love hard and fast

and with anyone you meet

You write a story

about all the ways in which they enchant you

but never tell them

It feels like an irredeemable sort of hurt

but somehow the next story is always written

Love letters and diary entries from fourth grade

tell tale of the first blond-haired, blue-eyed little soul

to catch your eye

Or all of the unsent letters addressed to the loves of your teenage years

the mysterious one with the dark eyes but a rare smile that could eclipse your whole day

Or perhaps

the one with your taste in music aside from that band you really hate

and how you later found out they were gay anyway

Or the musician

who would play the guitar for you

and sing “Hey There Delilah,”

because it was your favorite song for a season

Or your best friend

who would have been your John Hughes kind of love story

if that was how life was meant to be

And fast forward to college

with the love you met at a party when you were drunk

but it didn’t really work out because they weren’t nearly as interesting

when they were sober

And the first person you dated

after the high school musician broke your heart

And your new friend that made the aforementioned new relationship feel hollow

so you broke up in hopes of finding someone

with all of the qualities of your new friend

And the lovely college acquaintance

from your neck of the woods

that sees you as nothing more

than the best kind of friend

And that friend of a friend

you’d swear could be your soulmate

or best friend

or at least one of many

if only they didn’t have to inevitably leave

All of these moments could have lasted more than a moment

as their livelihoods have the potential to last a lifetime

However

you lack the sort of reckless courage

that is required

to make life happen to you

rather than

around you

You wouldn’t dare to take an unfamiliar hand

But you’d most certainly write about what could have happened

if you had