To the Thief

TO THE THIEF

I know you.

And I see you.

I have caught all your cues.

You have lined them up like pews.

Dropping them one after the other like morning dew.

So deep is my admiration,

because under consideration.

Laid bare is your conspirations.

You want to have what no one has had.

You want to have what was had, but was not wanted.

You are ambitious.

Your aim is to be ubiquitous.

My pen is heavy now.

It feels as though a planet is placed on it.

It feels as though the numberless droplets of the ocean are scooped In a bucket and placed on it.

It feels as though my heart is yanked out of my chest as I lie awake and watch.

I thought I didn't want you to have.

I believed I didn't.

But it looks as though you didn't want it. But made feel like you needed it.

Maybe you are cruel. Or perhaps I wanted you to have it, without knowing I did.

I wouldn't accuse you.

Or is it that you scratched a scar, laying bare an old wound. You brought to remembrance the unfathomable pain of rejection

You gave those demons a chance to laugh again.

The red door I fought to close.

Those boxes of depression, anxiety.

The boxes in which the voices told me I deserve not love.

In one fell swoop, your talons tore open the wound, scars, boxes I had locked and placed behind doors and doors. Behind lock and key.

Just when I thought I had run past my past. He runs backwards and looks me in the eye.

So will I be able to love again?

Having been scared by that which is to heal my scars.

That love that is kind to all, seems to bare canines at me.

So will I love again?

Having so much insecurities and abandenment fears.

Will I ever be loved again?will some one love me enough to destroy the boxes , heal the scars, unlock the doors and set me free?

Will be able to trust love again?.

Only the grains of time will tell as the slowly fall painfully.