To Simply Not Exist

To Simply Not Exist

Honestly,

I want to just not exist,

Like I was never here before,

No one to be missed,

I want to disappear into thin air,

An obsolete object,

Like I was never actually there,

I want to eliminate myself from the equation,

Avoid being a problem in anyone’s life,

A physical act of identity evasion,

A nobody to be remembered by,

All I do is disappoint,

All I do is hurt those who care,

There wouldn’t even be a point,

If I was never actually there,

Their lives would be fine,

Better off from the pain that I cause,

I am better off as a never mind,

Then being placed on this earth with all my flaws,

Sometimes I look in the mirror,

And wonder how I got here,

Why I don’t fit in,

And why I bother to love, care or have fear,

Where I continue to wonder where I end,

I know I am not a waste of space,

And have people around me who care,

But I couldn’t hurt them in the first place,

If I was never there,

I am not suicidal,

Because of how much I care about others,

But sometimes I wish they never knew me at all,

So, I couldn’t be a bother,

I don’t want to be missed,

I don’t want anyone to cry for me,

If I simply did not exist,

Maybe everyone else could remain happy.