To Regain
In the empty space \ In the soft, still forest
In the empty space
In the soft, still forest
Howled the wind lace
Howled the breath gust.
-
In the still, soft forest
I hunted for my shadow.
Howl of my breathy gust
painted a frost. Snow
-
hunted for my shadow.
I ran beyond, I ran behind,
painting frost beside snow
panting for this race—of a kind.
-
I ran beyond. I ran behind.
Then moonlight forced us pause.
Panting for this race of a kind,
we stood as ice, against the thaw.
-
Then moonlight forced us pause
and I stood shadowless.
We stood as ice, against the thaw
United one end: a shadow to possess.
-
And I, I stood shadowless
And ran the same, it to regain.
Snow and I united to possess
one of us the end in vain.
-
And ran the same to it regain
(Howl of the winded lace)
One of us the end in vain,
(In the empty space.)
Thank you so much for reading! This is a pantoum. It follows an abab rhyme scheme, with the 2nd and 4th lines repeated as the 1st and 3rd of the next stanza. The final stanza takes the 1st and 3rd lines from the initial stanza and inverts them as the 2nd and 4th.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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More stories from Mackenzie Davis and writers in Poets and other communities.
Chronicling Consciousness From the Bottom of Green Mountain
I sit on a white bench wondering could I see this mountain if the grass didn’t move? without motion, I am blind, (I ask why of movement and receive stillness in reply, perceive that my voice holds no echo)
By Mackenzie Davis3 years ago in Poets
Comments (8)
Congrats on getting honourable mention in the Hunt Challenge, Mackenzie!!!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your honourable mention! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
I’ve never seen this form before. I really enjoyed this, your opening verse is outstanding ✨❤️
Great nocturnal snow/forest vibes. So many of the images speak stillness, but the spilling rhythm drives the frantic search. I'm beginning to see more and more the significance of the Lewis Caroll citation in your profile! You hit for that fine line between oblique expression and transparency, which can help us get closer as writers to "expressing the unexpressible." Reminds me, Richard Strauss wrote an opera called Die Frau Ohne Schatten (the Woman without a Shadow) in the 1910's: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Frau_ohne_Schatten
I've read pantoums before, but this is the pantoumiest.
Love the pantoum scheme. New to me. Excellent poem, expressive feels.
Mackenzie, I thoroughly enjoyed the rhyme scheme and repetitive language through out! I appreciate the insight at the bottom, explaining the type of poem and how it is meant to be structured. This was very enticing and pleasing to read! I think my favourite line(s) was "we stood as ice, against the thaw". It felt so whimsical, enchanting and almost haunting.
Very Pretty form--and the still frost forest.