Tired

I am writing about being tired.

Not the poetic kind.

Actual tired.

The kind that sits in my shoulders at 2:17pm.

~~~

Not the poetic kind.

Not the kind that makes things feel meaningful.

The kind that sits in my shoulders at 2:17pm.

The kind that makes simple sentences feel long.

~~~

Actual tired.

I am tired of making decisions.

The kind that makes simple sentences feel long.

I am tired of emails that ask for my capacity.

~~~

I am tired of making decisions.

As if I can measure it.

I am tired of emails that ask for my capacity.

As if it’s something I can locate.

~~~

Not the kind that makes things feel meaningful.

I am tired of softening my voice.

As if it’s something I can locate.

I am tired of explaining myself twice.

~~~

I am tired of softening my voice.

This is not about rest.

I am tired of explaining myself twice.

This is about accumulation.

~~~

As if I can measure it.

Days stacked on days.

This is about accumulation.

Tasks added to tasks added to expectations.

~~~

Days stacked on days.

I am not burnt out.

Tasks added to tasks added to expectations.

I am not inspired either.

~~~

I am not burnt out.

I am just here.

I am not inspired either.

Needing less.

~~~

I am just here.

Being given more.

Needing less.

I am writing about being tired.

~~~

Being given more.

Not the poetic kind.

I am writing about being tired.

Actual tired.