Tired

I can't remember the last time I sat down and put a pencil to paper.

I can't remember the last time I sat down.

Can't remember the last time I got the chance to think.

Can't remember the last time I got the chance to think for myself.

Can't remember the last time I got to stop thinking.

Stop moving, constantly.

I'm just emotionlessly moving.

Hiding within relationships.

Hiding myself within relationships.

Hiding my love behind relations.

Hiding my love.

Calling it love.

Saying I love you.

Saying I hate you.

Saying I love you.

Saying I miss you.

Not saying nothing.

Not getting the chance to say I love you.

Not getting the chance to say I miss you.

Not getting the chance to say sorry.

Not getting the chance to leave a voicemail stating that I'm just checking on you and that I miss the sound of your voice.

I miss the sound of your voice.

I replay your messages you left on my voicemail.

I wish that I answered.

Not sure if I could've made a difference but you asked me to come over and regretfully I was busy.

Not sure if I could've made a difference but you was coming over and I was counting the seconds until I got off to meet up with you.

I never expected my last conversation with you would be over Facebook live.

I'm tired of losing the people I love.

I'm tired of being drained.

I'm tired of not knowing how to mourn properly. I'm tired of not getting the chance to mourn.

I'm tired of my Facebook friends list turning into a cemetery.

I'm tired of carrying the burden of loss.

I'm tired of playing messenger and only having the burden of bad news.

I'm tired of losing.

I'm tired of holding on to this guilt.

I am tired.

I am tired.

I am tired.