Time...

Life is fleeting. Something I realized with aging. One moment you are 22, going out dancing, laughing with friends, pushing the bad memories down deep and living your life moment by moment with little care. Then you're 45 with family, responsibilities, a job. Time becomes constraining. You can't do whatever, whenever you want anymore. You wish to be 22 again. But time doesn't go backwards and suddenly you are 63 with more time than people and plans. Days pass slowly and memories aren't made as often. It's odd how time can drag on at the same time it is rapidly running out. You wish to be 45 again.

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Days are balloons

floating away

from me

I reach out

to grab one

before it fades

but they rise

like musical notes

that disappear

once played.

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No matter what

I do, I cannot

get the moment

to wait, to stay

a few seconds more

they don't stay

they float away

no matter how

much I cry

or implore.

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The wind picks

up the memories

of my life that

I'd like to remain

and carries them off

eventually to be

completely out of

sight. I lay awake

wishing to relive

them every night.

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Time is cruel.

Eventually it'll

have me forget

those precious

memories, but

until I do

I will pine

after them

and remember.

Meanwhile the

time moves so

slowly and

they still won't

return to me.

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I wish for better

days to come, for

love to bloom anew

and time spent

in that familiar

bliss of romance

and love's gentle kiss

but the future

has it's own agenda

that leaves her

as always the

one I miss.

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You can't manipulate time. It's lives at a pace of it's own. Moments you wish would never end, always do. Times you wish you could forget disappear at their own speed, ignoring your desire to see them go. Blaming Time is useless. Time doesn't cause our scars, events do, and time doesn't create the events. The future is unwritten until time passes, then it unfolds. Can we change our future? I don't know. But we certainly can effect it by what we do and say and how we act and react.

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The future

so very elusive

passes by while

we try to snatch

some small

bit that will be

conducive

to the needs we

perceive we have

which are usually

merely wants

things to wash

away that which

still haunts.

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In a deck

of Tarot cards

the future

is often

depicted

as a mountain

in the far

distance

waiting for us

to catch up

to reach it so

it can become

an instance.

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If you pass

something on

the way you had

better grab on

tight because

before you

know it

once again

time will

take flight.

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Time has no

consideration

for what you want.

I've begged

so often

for God or Time

to bring

back a moment

or remake it anew,

so I can

live it again,

sometimes alone,

but usually

always with her.

Time will

ignore you and

God must have

some other plan

because no one seems

to listen or

even understand.

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So what do you do? There's nothing you can do to change time. Time can change us, but not the other way around. We learn as time passes, sometimes from the scars of life's pitfalls, other times from missed opportunity. It's taken me nearly 63 years to learn acceptance and how to live in the moment. Oh, I still pine for yesterday and the good times I had in Istanbul on the ferry with her but I realize I cannot have those times back, I can only look forward for the new times that present themselves. This isn't an easy thing to do.

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So I have had to

make myself

STOP

and wait for

what is to come

as the future

unfolds at it's

own pace

I must learn

it'll happen

when it's done.

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I'm not a fan

of Time.

I wish had

control of it.

I'd do it all

so very

differently.

But while I'm busy

rewinding

to the good times

reliving them

again

I'd miss what's

happening in

the current

time stream

maybe even

missing

making a

new friend.

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You can't have

it both ways

this I realize.

The balloon

is destined

to fly away

to fade away

up into the sky.

But notes can

be played again

created fresh

and new

maybe even create

a brand new tune.

Thanks for reading! - Sam 🎈